By Suzie Glassman, Jeffco Transcript
A behavioral scientist outlines six key strategies for managing potentially challenging discussions and preserving family harmony in the post-election, holiday season
Navigating political debates during the holidays can feel like walking a tightrope: one wrong step, and you’re in a heated argument instead of enjoying the pumpkin pie. Whether it’s a well-meaning relative dropping a divisive comment or a spirited family member pressing you for your stance, these moments can quickly escalate.
Denver-based behavioral scientist Susanna Park, Ph.D., shared practical advice for navigating these tricky conversations without losing your cool — or your relationships. Here are her top tips, drawn from her expertise and personal experience.
1. Know your goal
Before diving into any political discussion, Park advises asking yourself a critical question: What’s my goal?
“Is it to actually change the other person’s mind, or is it to just be able to speak your thoughts and feel heard?” she asked. If you know the likelihood of changing minds is slim, adjust your expectations.
“The way you talk to them is going to change…because you know it’s not going to happen,” she continued. Reframing your goal can prevent conversations from spiraling into heated debates where both people fight to win.
Pro Tip: If validation is your goal, frame the conversation with open-ended questions to encourage dialogue, not debate. If you sense things heating up, redirect to common interests or shared values.
2. Recognize your limits
It’s OK to step away if the conversation becomes too overwhelming.
“You’re not losing an argument,” Park said. Instead, you’re saving yourself unnecessary stress and prioritizing quality family time. Remember, you’re allowed to decide how you want to spend your evening. Peacefully enjoying dessert beats a shouting match any day.
Pro Tip: Have an exit strategy ready. For instance, excuse yourself to grab a drink or offer to help in the kitchen when tensions rise. Physical distance can also give you mental space.
3. Set boundaries
Sometimes, the best approach is to set clear limits upfront. A mutual agreement to leave politics at the door can help maintain harmony. If some feel strongly about discussing it, they can find other outlets while respecting the collective agreement at the gathering.
“There is something to be said about permitting yourself to not engage,” Park said. “Others in the community are with you and doing that work as well. Just because you’re not engaging in that one moment with your family doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that the situation will change for better or worse.”
Pro Tip: Frame the boundary as a shared goal to keep the event positive. For example, say, “Let’s make this about catching up and celebrating, not debating politics.”
4. Find common ground
Park emphasized the value of connecting with family members on shared interests outside of politics.
“If you care about animals, find people who care about animals,” she said. Whether volunteering at a shelter or attending a local event, community work can bridge divides and bring people together.
Pro Tip: Suggest activities that focus on shared values. Whether it’s a food drive, local park cleanup or holiday decorating, working toward a common goal can strengthen bonds despite differing views.
5. Take care of yourself
Self-awareness is key, from managing social media algorithms to recognizing physical signs of stress.
Emotions are just information for us to then take in and tell us what the next steps are,” Park said.
Recognize physical signs of anxiety, like a racing heart or shallow breathing and step back if needed.
Park also advised that we don’t have to scroll through everything the algorithm shows us.
“I think it’s really important for people to recognize that they have the power to change how they feel about social media – how they feel going into it and coming out of it.”
And don’t underestimate the basics: “Get sleep,” she urges. The holiday chaos, compounded with election fatigue, means self-care is more critical than ever.
Pro Tip: Balance your media diet. Follow uplifting or educational accounts alongside news, and take regular social media breaks to reset your mindset.
6. Embrace the long game
Park said to remember that meaningful change and understanding take time, so there’s no need to resolve deep political divides in a single conversation over a holiday meal. Advocacy and change are marathons, not sprints.
Park likened activism to the airplane oxygen mask rule: take care of yourself first. “If you’re feeling burnt out and fatigued, then your capacity is decreasing,” she said. Step back when needed and trust others in the community to carry the torch.
“It’s OK to take that moment. It may feel selfish, but it’s really not,” Park said.
Pro Tip: Instead of diving into arguments, focus on small, impactful actions that align with your values, like sharing a thoughtful article, asking open-ended questions or simply listening. These quieter approaches can build bridges without overwhelming yourself or others.
7. Practice empathy and kindness
At the end of the day, the holidays are about connection. “There’s a need for more empathy and grace for each other,” Park said. You don’t have to ignore the world’s challenges, but facing them together with kindness can make all the difference.
Pro Tip: Use humor to defuse tension. Sometimes, a light-hearted comment can help everyone remember what matters most: your connection, not your conflicts.
With these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the post-election holiday season with grace and sanity intact.
“The holidays are rough for a lot of people,” Park said. “So just be kind.”
Republished through a news sharing agreement with Colorado Community Media.
